Yesterday I read an article in the Guardian that officially the UK is an ageist nation, not really a surprise if you are over fifty as it’s then you realise that you’ve reached an age which might not fit in with everyones idea as an active, intelligent worthwhile human being. Frankly, whether it’s the UK or anywhere else in the western world, valuing our ageing population is up for discussion. And thinking about values is something I’d wished I’d done a hell of a long time ago! Our personal values change at different periods of our life, however recognising what makes us tick as an individual is the key to understanding so much, hence this story about one of my top ten values, Justice.

It was entering the coaching world as an over fifty student that I discovered why values are so important and how they had and continue to shape my life.

2013 was a year that started an ongoing story, which at times has driven me and everyone else to distraction and certainly could have impacted my relationships, however I have realised why it doesn’t, it’s all due to my strong belief in ‘justice’  and actually this has unknowingly been a value that has been present throughout my life. 

This is a snippet of a very long and complicated story that still continues. My husband and I had been lucky to purchase in 2011, after trying for many years, some agricultural land in the Provence, next to a small cottage, where lived alone a man aged eighty plus, who was rather unkempt, yet jolly and desperate for some sort of social interaction. An over the fence relationship evolved and we understood that he wanted to live in more comfortable circumstances by selling his little house. A property which had hardly any heat and needed plenty of maintenance, is not an easy situation for a man of eighty four. Fast forward to 2013 when he did eventually sell, the small house despite being in disrepair was located in a heavenly out of the way spot, a perfect opportunity for anyone if inclined to get away with murder.

Being desperate creates vulnerability, but being elderly and desperate is dangerous! Persuading him to sign papers that passed half his money over to them is amongst many horrific stories I could tell. The trial of these two people should be this coming year, it is no surprise that they hide  behind a well-known charitable organisation which gives them the right connections.

Mr T died this year and we continue his case on his behalf, which I suspect is unusual, normally the death of someone in these affair, is end of story, giving offenders against the elderly the inspiration to reoffend. This has not been an easy time for numerous reasons, the law is slow to bring judgement and we still don’t know whether these two ‘will get away with it’ so what makes us  put up with this situation?Undoubtedly  both of us have the same value of ‘Justice’ if not this would have been a lost cause. To do, to be something, or somebody you have to be driven and even more so when it’s out of your comfort zone. In a partnership if you are not coming from the same out look, or values certain situations will lead to dispute.

Understanding myself and how I react and work with others, helps me to live with myself. After breaking down what my values are, because there are hundreds  I’ve concentrated on my top ten of the moment which include ‘Justice’

Roy Disney said “It’s not hard to make decisions, when you know what your values are” 

Start to identify yours and notice the difference.